![]() ![]() As time went on, however, I found it very difficult to find a therapist that truly understood SAD. I graduated college, got married, and started my first job out of college. Reading the list of symptoms experienced by individuals with SAD felt as though I was reading a description of my life for the past 5 years, so I knew I was on the right track. I started to see a few different therapists and finally found a name for the thing I had been struggling with: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). Those close to me told stories of their struggles with mental health too. After this revelation, I began to share with others and realized the same thing happened. I was welcomed and greeted with sympathy and understanding. My brain told me I would become a pariah and be deemed unlovable. After one very stressful day in college, I broke down and called my parents and told them my entire story. I suffered in silence for about 5 long years, believing that if I thought about it enough and tried to think my way out, I could find a solution. This caused me to sweat from anticipatory anxiety, which caused me to have more anxiety, and more sweat, etc. I would worry about sweating in a situation, such as a class where I knew I would be trapped until class ended. One of the main things that I struggled with was the endless spiral of sweat caused by anxiety itself. There was less chance I could be singled out as sweating abnormally. Finding someone else that was also sweating would make me feel less self-conscious if I was sweaty. ![]() I became a sort of sweating detective in that I was always looking for others who might be sweating through their clothing as well. To achieve this, I had to remain incredibly vigilant and self-conscious any time I was in a social situation so as not to reveal my fatal flaw. Any sweat that happened outside those bounds was deemed unacceptable and must be hidden at all costs. Who stops sweating the minute they leave gym class after intense exercise? I didn’t, but apparently, at the time, I felt I should have.Īt that moment a core belief was born I am only allowed to sweat while exercising. Looking back this was completely irrational, but also unfair since my first hour of class was the gym. What was it? I was afraid that if people in class saw me sweating through my shirt that I would become an outcast, that my entire reputation would come crumbling down, and that I had to hide this fatal flaw at all costs. I had always been shy, but this was different. I remember the first time I felt social anxiety as I walked into my second-hour class as a sophomore in high school. Local Resident Works to Build Community for Social Anxiety ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |